No philosophic discussion, just straight on. I am ANGRY! Anger is the utmost emotion in my life, it’s dominant, extreme, fast, furious, hot unpredictable and devastating.

The first time I wrote this text was three (3) years ago. After rewriting it many times it’s time to publish it.

Thoughts are there, coming, going and I don’t have to let them stay. Emotions come and go and I can live with joy, fear, sadness, disgust, they to come and go. So with anger but it’s devastating, it’s consuming me, my balance, self esteem and my relations. 

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I am the land

Who owns the land? #Kallak #Gallok #Elsipogtog #NiyamgiriHills #Kalahari #BeloMonte #PahaSapa, #PeSla are just some of those places where this question arises. Does the land belong to the states, companies, private owners or to the indigenous nations?

For me it’s simpel. I am the land.

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This is disruptive thinking. A man partly responsible for the killing of 40000 elephants because he thougt; as many other cientist that desertification was caused by overgrazing. Now his research has led to the opposite and the answer is litter. Large herds dung and urinate all over their own food, and they have to keep moving, and it was that movement that prevented the overgrazing of plants, while the periodic trampling ensured good cover of the soil.

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The method?

During numerous lifetimes various cultures and people has evoked divine masters. Not always understood by the people, these masters practice and teachings where made to rites and ceremonies. What they supposed to have said and what they said was written down and people made the masters teachings to religions.

I became religious when I read about Buddhism. Taking part in a retreat in Denmark with a Bön Geshe made me a Bönpo practitioner. During many years I was struggling with my Ngondro practice without continuity. Now my view is that Ngondro is a monastic practice or to be made by a yogi in retreat. At least it’s not a practice I am able to accomplish.

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The seeker

The basic practice¹ Ngöndro took an hour morning and evening with all the visualizations, prostrations and prayers. My practice was not stable. Sometimes it worked fine and for long periods. Often reduced it to just sitting without any rituals or not doing any practice at all. It was frustrating.

The prayers were in Tibetan and I was able to sing them by heart and had the English translation so I understod the meaning of those prayers. Prostrations was not as difficult as it had been in the beginning. It was a good practice to reduce the ego. But I did not understand why I should visualize all the great masters,Yidams, Khandro, Sangye, Yungdrung Sempa (peaceful an wrathful meditation deities, female wisdom Dakinis, Buddha’s and Bodhisattvas) of which I had no images of or hardly new them by names.

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